He visits again.
“Go away”, I tell him.
He lingers around,
“Leave me alone”, I tell him.
“Every time things are going well,” I tell him,
“You swoop in and mess everything up.”
“If I gain something, you’ll make me lose it;
If I build something, you’ll tear it down;
If I love someone, you’ll take them away;
If I enjoy something, you’ll steal the moments away;
Whatever I have, you never let me keep it forever.”
“Even when you’re not with me,
I feel your presence,
Never really knowing when you’ll reappear,
Never really knowing when you’ll come to claim what I have,
Creating an unease that underlies everything in my life.”
“I tried securing more and more things
To overcrowd you out of my life,
To build a fortress against your instability.
Yet the more I collected,
The more you took away.”
I wished for him to leave and never visit again.
Then came the storm.
It tore down everything I had,
everything I cared for,
everything I was,
and it didn’t stop.
“Do something!” I cried desperately to the visitor.
“Come back and take this storm away!”
He didn’t come for a long time,
But just when I was losing hope,
The storm cleared,
And slowly I rebuilt my life
with what remained standing.
From then on, whenever he visited,
I would treat him as the guest of honour,
As a friend, as family, and as my guide.
I needed him on my side
In times of difficulties,
So I accepted him
when times were good.
But he never took sides,
And for the things he took,
He always gave back
Just when I accepted him for who he is,
And welcomed him into my life,
Without a word,