As we race through the busyness of our lives, much of our focus is on the external world and our place in it. We focus on the job at hand, the looming deadlines, the problem that needs to be solved. We focus on getting somewhere or something, or getting away from somewhere or something (or even someone). We focus on other people’s needs, other’s actions, other’s rights and wrongs.
For those who are more attuned to themselves, they also focus on their own needs, their own conduct, their own rights and wrongs, their relationships with others.
Yet even those who may be attuned to themselves, from time to time still miss something deep within themselves.
It is a like a chamber deep in our heart or mind, where we store things that are difficult to deal with, that get in the way of us dealing with things in our life on a day to day basis. In that chamber, we store hurtful memories, failed plans, humiliating moments, and people we try to forget. Even deeper in that chamber are the emotional seeds that accompany these things – the pain, the grief, the regret, the sadness, the depression, the worries, the fears, the anxieties, and most often, our insecurity about ourselves and our life.
The demand of modern life, with its busyness and ‘get on with it’ attitude, places enormous stress on us. To ‘rid’ this stress, we bury ourselves in the tasks that need to be done, we focus more and more externally, to the point where our emotions are secondary and our chambers store so many of our darkness that we don’t wish to open it up to take a look inside.
But the emotional seeds are still there, and would be triggered from time to time. When triggered, even by seemingly small and neutral things, all the darkness that we have stored there comes bursting out. We may be puzzled at what comes out, or even why it has come out, thinking it is a (over)reaction to what is happening.
The reality is that the seeds we have sown within us are always there, lying latent, in wait of when the right conditions come along for them to come into effect. So if we continuously plant seeds of unhappiness, disappointment, frustration, anger, we are creating whole gardens of negativity, ready to come to fruition whenever the trigger comes along.
So the exercise for this week is to do some gardening. It’s time to pull out the weeds, and work out which seeds to best plant.
In a quiet spot, where you feel comfortable and safe, take a moment to explore your inner chamber. Initially it may be hard to find, but be patient. Open yourself up to yourself…fully. Reassure yourself that there is nothing to fear for whatever may come out, and allow things to manifest themselves in their own time. Stay focused on the task; it will take some time. For some people it could take days. That’s OK. Allow the process to take its own course. Your task is simply to be open and be aware.
As things come up, try not to react to them. Just allow them to come up and watch them disappear. These are only old memories and old seeds; they have no power over you now unless you give them that power by reacting to them.
See this as a weeding process, or a detox for your heart and mind. Allow all the past negativity to surface and disappear. In time, you will come to understand how this chamber works, how things get stored in there, and what happens when you don’t give the seeds the conditions for it to grow. Similarly, you will see also how seeds of happiness can be sown in the chambers, and how with the right conditions, these seeds of happiness blossom into fruits of happiness.