1. Zen

    Great post!

  2. Molly

    I’ve been thinking about the paradox of self hate and self love for the last few days and have reached the conclusion that they often fuel each other. If someone has a great deal of unhealthy self love without knowledge of self (pride) that person will never be able to live up to their own expectations and will feel hatred, discontent and at least a mild desire to be reckless or self destructive.

    I’ve especially been thinking about this in relation to dysfunctional families in which a lack of trust in others and firm self dependence is taught generation after generation. If we rely on ourselves too much and cannot admit that we can’t do everything ourselves, that can lead to self hatred when we know that we are isolated and wish we were not but feel powerless to change. I wouldn’t have thought that this form of self hatred was also a form of self love, but it is a refusal to take a chance by trusting others. Taking that chance is a sacrifice and love shows itself through our sacrifices. So these dysfunctional people show a lack of love for everyone but themselves, it seems.

    With or without dysfunction, it seems that one of the best ways to overcome a propensity for self hatred is by learning to be humble so that we are detached from our concern for self-image and are able to acknowledge our faults. A genuine interest in the well-being of others without a desire to control them would help to lead to the necessary detachment, too, I think.

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