Welcome to Sydney’s Cadbury™ Monorail Ride

“Please remain within the capsule, keeping your hands, legs and deliberations inside the vehicle at all times. You may leave your bags, individuality and freedom in the overhead compartments. Please fasten your seatbelts and remain in your designated seats, roles and stereotypes. We hope you have a pleasant journey and we thank you for riding in Sydney’s Cadbury™ Monorail”.

So we are circling on a Cadbury Monorail Ride,

driven by neon lights,

monotone smiles,

mobile phone chatter,

and the good people of Cadbury.

The capsule is claustrophobic from

Air pollution

And smothering advertising wallpaper

While you tell us to Think Outside the Bun.

You tell us beauty’s on the inside

Of our lingerie.

That Maybe You’re Born With It, maybe you need this –

It’s Built on Good Old-fashioned Values, a Declaration of Independence;

It’s a Totally Organic Experience! And after all, You’re Worth It.

“Latest styles latest needs latest way to date he/she

Buy it now, no need to pay, think of that another day!”

You’re an original cliché/

nutritious fast food/

a recovered pathological liar/

telling us we’re Easy Breezy Beautiful.

You’re an unsuspecting internal wound

as we taste you’re melting ice cream and dissolving sweets.

So while we’re drunk on Cosmopolitan

you’re In Cinemas Now,

concealing Chinatown sewerage and

pub vomit with popcorn and billboards.

We’re empty talk with a blunt knife,

empty closet with a futile life

We’re in love with a married man

and stuck in the City Circle

So let’s Just Do It and Get a Hole Lot More Out of Life.

2003