What a Wonderful Life I Have!

Dearest Betty,

What a wonderful life I have! With mummy and daddy and baby Robbie. Only last weekend did daddy take us to the beach and today he took us to the park. There were so many trees and beautiful flowers and beautiful sunshine. Mummy made some sandwiches and we ate them on the grass. Robbie was so funny. He kept chasing the pigeons away. He sure is growing fast. It’s me and Robbie’s birthday today and mummy’s making us a chocolate cake. Daddy’s in the garage making a new bed for Robbie, but I don’t think I want to go in and disturb him. I think I’ll stay in the kitchen and help mummy bake instead.

Lots and lots of love, Julia.

Dearest Betty,

Last night mummy and daddy came back to see me. They were smiling and waving and I was waving and smiling. But then mummy was crying and daddy was yelling at me because it should’ve been me and not Robbie. That Robbie would’ve been bright and pretty but I was useless and ugly. And Robbie didn’t even have a chance to prove how bright and pretty he was, or a chance to see mummy and daddy. And then I was crying and daddy was comforting me and hugging me and brushing me. Then he was hurting me and wouldn’t stop. Mummy came in and was yelling and crying and wrapped me in my blanket but I was still shaking and crying.

Dearest Betty,

I asked to see my mummy and daddy today but Nurse Francis said they are gone now and I can’t see them anymore. I asked where they went and Nurse Francis said they are in a happy place, but they’re still missing and thinking of me. I asked if I can also be in that happy place but Nurse Francis said it’s only for mummies and daddies and not for little children. But I’m fifteen now, I said. But Nurse Francis just ruffled my hair and walked out, closing the door.

Dearest Betty,

I was in that car again. Daddy was driving as usual and was yelling at mummy. Mummy was yelling back and I knew it was all my fault. I shouldn’t have been so useless and ugly, and shouldn’t have cried when daddy was comforting me. And now daddy and mummy have gone to a happier place without me. And no one knows where Robbie is or remembers who he was. But I will always remember. He was the little brother whom I never saw but was always there, in between mum and dad and me.

Dearest Betty,

I had such a great day! Mummy and daddy and Robbie came to see me and daddy was making us laugh with his stories. Then Nurse Francis came in and they all left. She asked me who I was talking to and I told her. Not Betty? No not Betty. That’s good, at least that’s sorted out. What’s sorted out? But Nurse Francis just ruffled my hair and walked out, closing the door.

Dearest Betty,

Today daddy read to me, and mummy was singing to me. Robbie was laughing and being bright and pretty and no one was mad at me anymore. Tomorrow daddy’s going to take us to the zoo, or the ice cream parlour, or wherever I want. Oh Betty, what a wonderful life I have!

Lots and lots of love, Julia

2004